The Name Game

One of my biggest social anxieties has to do with remembering people's names. I am actually quite good at remembering names but every once in a while, I draw a blank.

Because I have a somewhat unusual name, I know what it feels like to be called the wrong name. Kelly, Cassie, Cathy, Chelsea...even Karen (?!?) are all things I've been mistakenly called when someone forgot my name. I'd rather just be asked my name again (although that can feel awkward, too) or just be blankly smiled at than to be called the wrong name. Because I am sensitive to this, I feel horrible if I can't remember a name.

I also have a problem with certain names that have another similar name like it...for example, Brett and Brent. At one point in time, I had three friends dating guys named either Brett or Brent. For the life of me, I could not get it straight. Two of those friends ended up marrying their Brett/Brent and over 10 years later, I still say "Hey Breeh(n)tt" when I talk to them hoping to God I get it right. Ack!

When doing an Urban Botanic party it is really important to make a personal connection with the guests. This helps sales and increases the chances of getting a party booked. If people remember you as warm and friendly they will want to spend more time with you! And calling people by their name makes them feel acknowledged and important.

Here are a few tricks I've read about and some I've personally used to help cement someone's name in memory.

1. Make a word association with their name.

Is the person tall? Then call them Tall Terry in your mind. Does the person have an unusual or memorable characteristic? Blonde Betsy, Purple-sweater Paula, or Green-Eyed Gwen...you get the picture.

2. Ask them how they spell their name.

Even with a common name, there can be different spellings. In a situation where you wouldn't necessarily be writing their name (such as an Urban Botanic party), you can say "Oh, Stacey, how do you spell that?" and follow with "I have a friend Stacie who spells it 'I-E'". It's irrelevent to Stacey that you have a friend who spells her name differently but it will help you remember her name!

3. Repeat their name

In conversation, try to repeat their name outloud. "Nice to meet you, Sarah" or "How do you know the hostess, Sarah?"...these are easy to do right when being introduced to get that repetition. I also do the trick where I will scan a group and mentally recall each person's name - I will do this more than once. If there is a person I can't remember I might pull someone (like the hostess) aside and ask.

4. Mentally do the Name Game

Kelsey belsey bo belsey...bananafana fo felsey, etc. Silly but effective.

5. Utilize visualization techniques

Imagine their name as a picture or snapshot. You can also visualize yourself writing their name. I read that Franklin Roosevelt would visualize a person's name written across their forehead. Using visualiztion techniques utilizes another type of learning making it more likely you will remember the name.

After a party, you can go through the order forms and connect each person with what she bought. I also mentally try and recall their face, too. This will help if you run into them at another party down the road or in a different social situation (at the store, etc.).

What are some techniques you've used to help remember a name?