The Red Door Example

The subject of networking, making connections, and "putting yourself out there" has been coming up a lot lately in our Urban Botanic network. I'm pretty sure this is always going to be a central theme, particularly for those of us who haven't been in sales before and as our teams grow.

I came across this great article (that seems to be quite popular as its linked in several places!) that talks about a system that two women created in Atlanta called The Red Door. There are lots of great tidbits here, happy reading!

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The Red Door
by Bonnie Ross-Parker
found at http://www.mlm.com/mlm/user/mlmarticles

Women need mentors. From both a practical and a feminine point of view, mentors for women are it.

Having come late to the “good ol’ boy” networks that men have developed for years, women have had to create their own ways to build relationships in the business world. As women in business have proven themselves to treasure conversation and teamwork, working with mentors seems like a natural thing. It plays right into the powerful traits women possess.

So, what if we created a weekly free mentoring program for professional women! Well, why not?

My friend Kirsten Farris and I developed this idea for entrepreneurs and any women interested in starting a business. We recognized that many women were not getting the support they needed. Existing networking events weren’t the right place to support the need for business growth. They are merely a place to exchange business cards.

So we created a mentoring program and called it The Red Door. We met every Tuesday morning at a local Atlanta Bread Company. We occupied a side room. It was a great place to obtain morning coffee and a bagel or pastry. We set up the tables to form a large square and placed chairs around the perimeter. Each participant had five minutes to introduce herself, share with the other women what she does, and give us specific progress on the intention she stated the week before. This format held each person accountable or offered support when life interfered with unmet goals, which was not uncommon! The underlying understanding was that each one of us was there to support, honor, and do what we could to keep every participant on track with their plan. “Red” represented energy and “Door” indicated an opening to the future. Our tag line became “bringing energy to ideas to create unlimited possibilities.”

We had no idea that the response would be so great, nor the significance our time and effort would have. Were we in for a surprise! The participation grew weekly. Regulars came faithfully and brought friends. Suddenly we were servicing a large group of entrepreneurial women eager to learn, implement new ideas, and support one another.

From one week to the next, women would report on their previous week’s progress and challenges. With the support of their mentors and colleagues, many remained determined to stay on course and strengthen their businesses. We introduced affirmations, spoke our intentions, and encouraged accountability. Women helped each other, and met often between sessions to keep the flow of ideas and momentum going.

Different from other networking groups established for lead generation, The Red Door offered a safe, nurturing space for open dialogue, honest assessment, and a non-threatening environment – perfect for women. For some of our participants, it was their first introduction to mentoring. The Red Door became a foundation for them to go out into the world with their talents, ideas, businesses, and confidence. Kirsten and I know that the contribution of our time, expertise, and connection played a significant role in the success of the women we served. That alone was ample reward.

Talented Businesswoman
Kirsten is an amazing, talented woman. She’s brilliant, energetic, and overflows with ideas and enthusiasm as a businesswoman and horse whisperer. She had been in telecommunications sales and marketing for most of her career. She’d moved in and out of the corporate world before starting her own company in 2000. No matter what challenge or question I have, she magically whips up what I need to do or hear. Kirsten takes me under her wing by offering fresh ideas and encouragement. Kirsten and I connected immediately at a luncheon networking function. When I sat down next to her, I asked, “What do you do for fun?” From that one question, Kirsten shared with me her unique perspective on connecting. Here’s what she said:

“Really, connecting is not about the questions you ask, because, quite frankly, if someone other than you had asked me ‘what do you do for fun?’ I might be thinking, I’m not telling this person anything! Just because you ask the question doesn’t mean you’re going to get the answer! Because I sensed you were genuine, I struck up a conversation.”

Yes, connecting is more complicated than it seems. Connecting is not just walking up to another person and striking up a conversation. Before you can connect, you’ve got to be connected with yourself and your purpose. You have to be genuine.

Discover Your Purpose
How do you discover your purpose? It comes from being aligned with yourself and what you believe in. So how do you get yourself aligned? Therein lies the problem.

We can be very dysfunctional and incongruent. Our conscious minds and our subconscious minds can be out of alignment, out of whack. To find alignment and purpose, we start by discovering our truth and coming into our power. From there, we need to understand that it’s all about everybody else. We ask, “How can I help, how can I serve? How can I help people get what they want?”

Connecting is a way of life – not just something you do at meetings, but how you choose to live your life.

To be a connector, you need to be in the realm of helping facilitate transactions between events, people, and things. Get out there, be yourself and be genuine; from there, everything else will fall into place. That’s why it’s important for people to determine how to get ready.

Kirsten says connection is all there is. In her words, “If you’re not connected, you’re disconnected. Connection to me is about being abundant and having infinite possibilities. Being disconnected is very limited.”

Kirsten feels disconnected at times. She knows that the first step to becoming connected again is to acknowledge feeling disconnected, then getting back in sync.

Do you feel a little depressed? Are you going to do something about it? Do you want to change it? When?

Sometimes, you may want to wallow in the fact that you don’t want to do anything at that moment. That’s okay, because that’s the way energy works. But as Kirsten likes to say, “To make my life work, I have to be in choice. When I choose to do something, I never feel trapped.”

It’s About Helping Others
Kirsten and I have similar beliefs about networking. We believe it’s not about you and it’s not about handing out cards. It’s about getting to know people and understanding how you can help them. It’s about getting to help someone or being involved in a group. You might not get anything tangible from that group, but because you’re doing the right thing, good things happen for you. Kirsten and I share that philosophy.

Indeed, true connections are like that. For me, it’s nice to find someone like Kirsten who’s willing to do things for people because it feels good, and not because she’ll get something out of it.

It’s a way of life. It’s about being open to connect people, and when you do so, you get connected someplace else.

Kirsten says, “You get there by becoming involved in a group similar to The Red Door or The Joy of Connecting – by networking with people whoa re trying to find their purpose and working through exercises that help you determine that purpose. Joining connection groups allows you to just meet and talk with many different people who can steer you onto the right path. Once you’re open to it, you just kind of say, ‘OK, I’m ready for the next thing – bring it on!’ Within 24 hours, great stuff will show up!”

Bonnie Ross-Parker is a multi-dimensional businesswoman/entrepreneur with a background in education, franchise development, publishing, mentorship, network marketing, and community development. Her articles on owning one’s own business and entrepreneurship have appeared in publications such as Wealth Building, Home Business Magazine, Business to Business and Entrepreneur’s Business Start-Ups. In 2002 Bonnie received The Athena Award—an honor designed to acknowledge women of leadership in cities throughout the United States. She is the author of Walk in my Boots – The Joy of Connecting. Contact Bonnie at 770-333-9028 bootgirl@bonnierossparker.com or www.bonnierossparker.com

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